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Have you ever been ‘meat drunk’? The phrase I use refers to that sensation you feel having consumed vast quantities of bleeding, meaty protein. That pricking of perspiration, revolution of the room. The haze that comes over you, the fluttering and dropping of your eyelids, that slight woozy, wasted feeling. This does exist, I know. I eat said vast quantities of meat on a very frequent occasion both for pleasure and because, when I do diet, I do the Dukan Diet, meat intensive and the yummiest of all diets. It is vaguely pleasurable, vaguely disorientating, in about a 50:50 ratio. It was this sensation that I was seeking upon entering 12 Bones, Asheville, North Carolina.

12 Bones would also, most sadly, mark the culmination of the BBQ portion of my Food Tour across the United States. I had tried (a lot of) Texas BBQ, I had gorged on Memphis fare and now it was time to taste North Carolina ‘Q’, the Eastern variety. Eastern North Carolina BBQ is most commonly pork, served pulled or chopped and comes with a vinegar sauce. In the East it is more common for the whole hog to be used, both white and dark meat, whereas in the West it is more often just the shoulder meat. In the West there is frequently tomato included in the vinegar sauce too. What all this boils down to is yumminess. I was excited to check it out.
12 Bones came with an impressive repute. Known widely as the best ‘cue joint in the area and restaurant of choice for President Obama who has been known to eat there whenever he comes to Asheville. See the video below to visit proofdom.
The place has oodles of character, first evidenced by the charming sign displayed outside. See below. The inside is eclectic and ramshackle chic, the staff laidback and cheerful.
We decided to order a good selection, not just the pulled pork, so that we could have a better comparison to Texas and Memphis. The pulled pork arrived, a steaming mound on a platter, surrounded with various tasty sides. It was good; very juicy and fatty, in the best possible way. A pleasing amount of salt and a stonking, oinking level of ‘porkiness’. It came with a whole bunch of different dipping sauces, of which the most authentic, so I was told, was the simple vinegars sauce. It worked pretty well with the pork – when dipped in, or poured over as the locals do it, the acidity cut through the fattiness of the meat and made it fresher. The sides were spectacular, possibly more so than the meat! I had collard greens, a quite bitter green leafed vegetable, cooked with butter, sometimes vinegar, and served commonly in the south. They were great – a slight touch of bitterness, iron rich, buttery and salty. Absolutely delicious. Some people hate them, others love them. I am the latter. The second side was the best – ‘corn pudding’, another Southern classic. Made from creamed corn, baked with corn starch, butter and eggs, it forms a soft pudding with the texture perhaps of….spotted dick or a chunky sticky toffee pudding. It tastes sweet, achingly of corn and cakey, though certainly savoury.
Next came BBQ ribs in a sweet and spicy blueberry chipotle glaze. Melting in the mouth, though not to the extent as some of the other ribs I tried in both Texas and Memphis, but exceeding both in its glaze. Sticky, fruity, a slight bite (ho ho) of chilli at the back. MM. Their brisket was deeply average, ranking near the bottom of my table of briskets compiled over the trip. Unsurprising, considering that North Carolina deals mainly in pig.
I finished the meal with a most nontraditional North Carolina dessert, dreamt up by the pit masters and proprietors of 12 Bones: candied bacon ice cream. It was surprising and it was probably a good thing that the flavour of bacon was not particularly prominent. It came in sweet bacon chunks that blended well with the rest of the creamy dessert. Overall it was smoky and sweet. It was okay but I wouldn’t be coming back begging for more, like I shall soon be for the corn pudding and collard greens.
To conclude, Texas BBQ spoiled me for the rest of my tour. Eating the best is always going to make everything that comes after it seem inadequate in comparison. And that is precisely what we did. Texas BBQ was, quite simply, stunning. Its brisket was soft, melting, tender, its ribs, for the most part, luscious, gelatinous and well flavoured. Most of all, I liked Texas’ emphasis on dry rubs, no sauce, allowing the meat to speak for itself. I like how meat talks. Eloquent.

And so, sad as the finality of this decision is, devoid of the prospects of future meat, I must declare that Texas BBQ, in my opinion, is officially the winner. Now my tour takes a definite calorific turn. On to Philadelphia for cheese steak sandwiches, Jersey for pizza, New York for that too and for food hopping in China town, hot dogs, pastrami and oysters. Ahh possibilities, you are welcome.

http://www.12bones.com

5 Riverside Drive
Asheville, NC
(828) 253-4499